Bar food and sports

Why is it that whenever you go out to the bars to watch a sporting event that you have to consume large quantities of fried foods? I guess it just tastes better. Who would want to watch a basketball game while drinking a glass of 2002 Cakebread cabernet (just recently released) and dining on a soy-glazed salmon with wasabi mashed potatoes? See how funny that sounds? As much as I love a good wine and good food, there is nothing better than buffalo wings and cheap American beer (Miller Light) while watching UNC beat the "barely fightin" Illini!
There's just something about watching a sporting event that requires one to consume the most unpretentious food available. No matter how "healthy" I'm trying to be, it goes out the window when I'm sitting down to watch a game. Fried mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers, chicken strips, fries, fried shrimp, and buffalo wings all call my name when I am at a sports bar. For people on their "diets" and refuse to eat this stuff while watching a game - you're a wuss. Plain and simple. Luckily, I don't have too many friends like this.
The nice thing about bar food is that it is pretty much the same everywhere. It doesn't matter if you're in the middle of Texas or in L.A. Bar food is bar food, if it's a real sports bar. We know there are faux sports bars in L.A., but those don't count. They cater to people who want to pretend like they know what a free throw shot is, but they really don't. They're at the bar for the social aspect of it more than anything.
My question is: When will the Bruins win another NCAA basketball championship instead of floundering helplessly in the first round of the dance??