Curling

Okay, the Winter Olympics are upon us and as the 7th ranked show being watched last week, I must provide some coverage on this.

WHAT THE HELL IS CURLING?!?!?!? And, more importantly, how in the world did it become an Olympic sport? I mean, seriously, what kind of athletic prowess is needed to push a chunk of highly polished granite down a sheet of ice?

My goal for the next Winter Olympics is to become a professional curler. Hey, I've got four years to train for that gold medal. My training schedule:

Sunday: Rest
Monday: Run 10 miles. Weight training. 100 push-ups. Practice for 4hrs at the local curling center.
Tuesday: Run 7.5 miles. 100 push-ups. Practice for 4hrs at the local curling center.
Wednesday: Run 10 miles. Weight training. Practice for 2hrs at the local curling center.
Thursday: Rest
Friday: Same as Mon.
Saturday: Practice for 6hrs at the local curling center. Run 6 miles.

I think that will put me in an optimal condition to win the gold. Of course, I could always just go down to the local dive bar and play shuffleboard with a pitcher of beer and it would probably produce the same effect.