Bachelorette Parties

As tradition would have it, every man and woman should have a last "Hurrah!" before that walk down that looooong aisle. The 2005 version of the bachelorette party is definitely not your mother's party. Some girls will have strippers. Some will have spa days. Others will just have a drunken night on the town. Every year, I am obliged to attend at least 1-3 of these rites of passage. As one of my friends would say, it's a "roving cock tease"!

I guess some guys could call it a roving cock tease....I think it's more akin to a wolf pack. The girls travel in packs of usually at least 6 or more. There is one leader, i.e., the bachelorette. There is a pecking order from the maid of honor to the bridesmaids to the other peripheral girlfriends or siblings. They will circle their prey (good-looking guys who are drunk) to get it excited and scared at the same time. They attack their prey by asking him to buy a blowjob shot or do a body shot off the pack leader. They move on to the next prey.

Either way you look at it, it's a bunch of drunk girls acting like college kids again. What could be better than that???

Paris Hilton and Carl's Jr.

Most women I talk to do not think Paris is attractive. Charlize Theron? Yes. Katherine Zeta-Jones? Yes. Jennifer Garner? Yes. But, Paris Hilton? She's skanky. Yes, she has a great body, I'll give you that. But, her face looks like a cross between a horse and an inbred something or other. She's a walking STD of some sort....guaranteed. Why do guys find her appealing? She's gross....like Tara Reid.

Telegrams to text messaging

Is it just me or is it ironic that we have "advanced" in technology and yet, it seems as though we have regressed? Case in point is the telegram. Isn't text messaging essentially a modern version of the telegram? Wasn't the telephone the technological advancement, more superior than the telegram? What happened?

I think it's funny when people email or text message instead of picking up the phone. Now, I'm not saying that I'm not a hugely addicted computer junkie myself (my blog is the perfect example of this), BUT I would rather call someone than email. Sound travels a lot faster than 80wpm. Yes, even the quickest hands in the world just aren't fast enough to travel at the speed of sound.

There are certainly instances where you need to utilize text messaging. For example, if you are studying in a crowded coffeehouse, it would be more appropriate to text message instead of yakking away on the clamshell. Another example would be if you were in a meeting. Most meetings are boring and require very little thought so why not engage in silly banter via text?

When does texting get used inappropriately? When someone is at home and decides that their internal turmoil should be transmitted via text. Hey, I'm all for open communication, but shouldn't that kind of stuff be done in person or at least via phone??

***Look out for my future diatribe on the novelties of the newer phones that have features that are really, truly unnecessary.

Human cloning

South Koreans have been busy in the laboratory as of late. They are cloning humans!! Again!! Now, for those of you who don't know what cloning is, let me tell you that it is not like the movie "Multiplicity". The process of cloning takes place by extracting stem cells from young embryos. Personally, it would be more fun if cloning was indeed like "Multiplicity". I think this world would be a better place if I made droves of clones of myself. Okay, on second thought, that would be a very scary thing. Can you imagine there being more than one of me??? Even I shudder at the very thought....

Cloning is so reminiscent of Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World". Before we know it, we will all be born in laboratories and divided into different castes, created specifically for certain tasks. I don't know about you, but my genes are going to be implemented into the Alpha Plus caste, thank you very much.

I am looking forward to the day when we can live in a utopian society of blissfully unaware people who live their daily lives the way they do because they don't know any better. Hmmm...sounds like society right now. Funny that we don't consider it utopian and yet, people go about their days like trained mice which was Huxley's utopian society. Foreshadowing can be an eerie feeling, especially when it applies to real life situations.

Fun in Yosemite

The weather forecast said that there is a 20% chance of rain on Thurs., 5/19/05. We were supposed to have clear skies. We were supposed to be dry. We were supposed to be prepared. Apparently, the weatherman was wrong. That's odd....
Well, my three "J" engineering friends and I went to Yosemite on Sunday. We set up camp and cozied up in our tents. We went to sleep to the steady beat of rainfall on our tents. We woke up to the steady beat of rainfall on our tents....and a pool of water. Who would have thought that a Therm-a-Rest would become a floatation device?

Bad idea: Camping in the rain.
Worse idea: Camping in the rain with only one tarp for two tents.

Bad idea: Driving into Yosemite Valley for breakfast.
Worse idea: Driving into Yosemite Valley for breakfast when two different intersections were already flooded.

Bad idea: Asking if the roads will be open soon.
Worse idea: Asking if the roads will be open soon, just as another downpour hits.

Bad idea: Drinking beer at 5pm after realizing we were stranded for sure.
Worse idea: Drinking beer at 5pm, when we should have started at 11am, when we were first told we were stranded in the valley.

Bad idea: Sleeping in a tent bungalow in Curry Village.
Worse idea: Sleeping in a tent bungalow in Curry Village, overrun by loud high school kids from San Diego.

Where the hell is Bruingirl???

She's been in rehab since returning from Costa Rica. Her blood alcohol level actually dropped off while in Costa Rica because she was too busy hiking, surfing, and swimming that there was no time to consume too many alcoholic beverages. Besides, she was in paradise so there really was no need to kill brain cells. Now that the regular work week has set in again, she needed to top off her blood alcohol levels. Ahhh....that's better....
Quick recap of the past couple of weeks: Food & Wine Festival benefitting a charity; Cinco de Mayo and one too many tequila shots; Ben Lee concert; San Diego; Mother's Day; driving all over Southern California.
Well, that's my quick blurb for the day as I roll up my sleeves and try my hand at this whole "work" thing again....
Yeah, I know, I should be back in the game after being back 2 wks, but I'm going to Yosemite on Sunday night....yup, another vacation. My life sucks....