Security Clearance

One of my neighbors has to get security clearance for his work. This means that the government people go around and interview different people that he knows. I was one of the lucky ones who got interviewed.
Some of these questions they ask are really funny, if you ask me.

"Do you have any reason to believe that he would not be loyal to his country?" Uhh....I think he's a terrorist.
"What does he like to do in his free time?" Uhhh....he likes to have sex with his girlfriend.
"Does he use any illegal drugs?" Uhh....does pot count?
"When you interact with him on a social basis, what do you guys do?" We smoke crack cocaine and pick up hookers.
"Do you know what he does for work?" He makes bombs that kill bad people in bad countries.

How much do they really get out of these interviews anyway? People are going to say what the government officials want to hear.

Vegas, baby, Vegas!

Wow, oh wow.....a weekend in Vegas. We took a 630am flight back from Vegas this morning. Painful? Yes. Extremely painful. Why did we do it? Because we were determined to get to work on Monday. Are we crazy? Yes.

The three amigas traveled to Vegas for the first time together. Vegas had no idea what hit it this past weekend. We started the weekend with Bloody Marys at the airport bar on Saturday morning at 930am. That was foreshadowing, if there ever was one!

Ted. Margaritaville. Flamingo Hilton. Shots. Casino Royale. Craps. Flamingo Hilton. Tuscany Suites. Okada at the Wynn. Red bull and vodka. Hard Rock. Craps. Mota. Pure. $7 water. Subway. Hard Rock. Rehab. Room service.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.....enough said.... ;-)

Mmmm....pizza.....

Fortunate or not, my company likes to feed us. They like to feed us quite often. They like to feed us food that makes us fatter. In my industry, it is fairly common to have someone come in to do a lunch or breakfast presentation. These people realize that the only way we will listen to them is if they feed us. In some senses, it may be considered bribery. Only if you listen to my pitch will you get free food....

Either way, it's free food and sometimes, these people actually have something insightful to say. More often than not, it goes in one ear and out the other. How many times can you have someone tell you that their large-cap growth fund is better than XYZ Co.???

Today, they fed us pizza. We don't like to get pizza too often, but it's free and it's greasy. What else can you ask for? The poor pizza kid came after 1pm though. Everyone was milling about the conference room door when the kid finally came through with 4 boxes of pizza to start. He had to go down and get the rest of the pizza. What happened next was quite the sight. 30+, mostly middle-aged, mostly male professionals in shirts and ties, scrambling to get a slice. There were no plates or napkins yet. Just 4 boxes of pizza.

As one rookie kid poignantly said, "I thought people stopped this kind of behavior in college....?? It's worse than a group of college frat boys!"

Vaccinations

Newborn babies are being vaccinated with multiple shots these days. How would you like it if your doctor poked you with a needle several times in one day?? That would not be my idea of a good day, especially if I had to sit in a dirty diaper for 2 minutes and then became frustrated that I couldn't fall asleep.

One of these vaccinations include the hepatitis B shot. Now, why in the world would a child being born in a country with less than 2% infected have a need for this?? Let's take a look at the CDC website to see how this disease is transmitted:

- Occurs when blood or body fluids from an infected person enters the body of a person who is not immune.
- HBV is spread through having sex with an infected person without using a condom (the efficacy of latex condoms in preventing infection with HBV is unknown, but their proper use may reduce transmission), by sharing drugs, needles, or "works" when "shooting" drugs, through needlesticks or sharps exposures on the job, or from an infected mother to her baby during birth.

I don't know about you, but it doesn't sound like a child being born today needs to get this shot. It sounds to me like a push by cash-laden pharmaceutical companies to make more money. Then again, if your child is going to grow up to be a promiscuous, heroin addict, it may be a good idea to give them this shot sooner rather than later.

Couch potato

British potato farmers are up in arms to get "couch potato" taken out of the dictionary. They claim that this gives the potato a negative image. I didn't realize potatoes had a self esteem problem.

I think Mr. Potato Head should have been their spokesperson. Afterall, who else would be a better representative than Mr. Potato Head with his removable eyes and ears?? He's happy and fat. He's got a bushy mustache and a big nose. He even has a wife to boot! Mrs. Potato Head with her high heels and purse! Mr. Potato Head is a celebrity. He has a movie and has a long, commendable history which began in 1952.

Potatoes are our friends. French fries, chili cheese fries, baked potato, scalloped potatoes, twice-baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, potato pancakes, potato soup, and the list of our favorite foods go on and on. Potatoes don't have a negative image at all! Potatoes have and will always have a long, illustrious career of being happily eaten by people all over the world!

Procrastinating as an art form

You would think that after the lessons learned in college that I would stop procrastinating. You would think that I would understand time management better. Well, here I am again. Studying for yet another exam for work with 300 unbearably boring pages to read before Friday, 9am. Do I have to take this exam to remain employed? No. Should I take the exam and pass it? Yes, especially considering that I've already put in 1.5yrs of previous coursework into this!
If I see another section devoted to a gross estate inclusion due to Sec. 2035 and Sec. 2042, I am going to scream!!! And then, the textbook has the nerve to say "there are many more complex tax issues associated with this matter that cannot be covered in this book". Uhhh....okay, so why even mention it? Just to confuse the reader????
See, my life would be easier if I actually took the entire quarter to study this material instead of waiting until the last two weeks prior to the exam. Now, I have no life and am permanently attached to my textbook until Friday.
All my creative juices have been drained and my physique is taking a turn for the worse. So, this is what happens when you don't workout for a week and a half.....I think I'm getting the shakes.....

Bruingirl Travels...Again!

I just got back from Cabo San Lucas. I was there from Wednesday through Saturday night for a wedding. For those of you unfamiliar with Cabo, it is a city at the southernmost tip of Baja California. No, it is not part of California. It is part of Mexico.

Weddings are interesting social gatherings. It is a rite of passage that most people experience as they move from a life of "Mr. Smith" to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". They are joyous occasions where everyone has an excuse to become extremely intoxicated and make complete idiots of themselves on the dance floor. There is always that one or two people who get a bit overboard. This wedding was no different.

There was Big Al who started taking off his shirt to "Pour Some Sugar on Me". Why? I guess it was getting too warm for him. Then, there was 'Doza who tried to charm his way into every woman's dress. Let's just say that he was so intoxicated by the end of the night that there were stories of him and missing the toilet.

Yes, weddings and open bars go hand in hand. Where would we get all of our material for great stories without drunken wedding attendees?

As for me, I have never done anything stupid at a wedding! ;-)

Greatest American

So, AOL television and Discovery Channel are sponsoring this "Greatest American" on the Discovery Channel. The top 25 nominees include people like George W. Bush, Rosa Parks, Albert Einstein, Billy Graham, Wright Brothers, George Washington and a number of other deceased (or soon to be deceased) Americans, as well as some that are alive and well. All of these people have contributed greatly to our country to make it the place it is today in regards to our freedom, technological advancement, economic stability, etc... If you don't like it, go live in Mauritania and then complain about our country and what we lack.

Now, there are others in the top 100 that include people like Hugh Hefner or Donald Trump. You know, the type of American you can truly respect for giving us "Playboy" and "The Apprentice". Afterall, where would we be without such quality entertainment? Who cares about the development of electricity or our first landing on the moon? Other top 100 contenders include Ellen Degeneres, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, and Martha Stewart. Wow, oh wow....I could have a field day with some of these contenders.

My life would be completely devoid of any meaning without the words "run, forrest, run!" I would be completely helpless in regards to planning dinner parties in jail without Martha. I would have been bored to tears without Ellen's commentaries at Walt Disney World on one of the rides.

Where, oh where, would we be without some of these other top 100 greatest Americans? Who's your favorite and why?