Blog is me....

What is blogging? Where did it come from? How does "blog" even become a word? Does this mean that I can coin my own words too?

Monday, January 31, 2005

Foosball and Bones

Ever notice a high correlation between foosball and Tourette's syndrome? Is it just me or do you notice that everyone has Tourette's when playing foosball?
I played offense with a very drunk teammate who played defense. It was quite an intense battle between the two teams. Of course, every other word out of everyone's mouth was a word that would have made your mother cringe. After a few games, we decided to name foosball - Tourette's syndrome foosball. How appropriate.
Next game of the evening: Bones. This is a game of dominoes, for those "not in the know". The thing about this game is that you actually have to think! You have to strategize and add many numbers together. No, you cannot use a calculator! I came in 2nd.
Between foosball and bones, I could have sworn I had transported back to college, except there was Newcastle being drunk instead of Keystone Light.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Funnier than sh*t

I was talking to a friend the other day and during the conversation, one of the things she said was "....is funnier than sh*t!!!"
How does this phrase make any sense? How is sh*t really funny that something could be funnier than it? I never realized that sh*t could be so funny. Then again, I guess it is.
It's wonderful that we can debase ourselves to such lowly forms of humor, even as "adults".

Monday, January 24, 2005

Weekend Wrap-up

Mammoth Mountain is Southern California's premier mountain resort. Actually, many would argue that it is probably the best resort in N. America! I would have to concur. The only drawback (if you can even call it that) is that driving to/from Mammoth is quite the tedious journey. Only those with the patience of a saint can endure this drive. Of course, if you travel like my friends and I, any long drive can be made into quite the entertaining journey. On any long drive, one must have an arsenal of conversation topics.
1) Fisting. Obviously, this is a very important subject matter. Personally, I thought it was rather homo-erotic that a group of guys would dwell on this subject. Then again, there's nothing funnier than ending every statement with "...after your fisting..."
2) Breasts. Who would have thought that Brian would prefer real B size breasts over full C size breasts?? Apparently, the key is the "pen test". I'm sure all you male species out there understand this test. For you ladies...use your imagination...
3) The Steelers' amazing ability to not get a touchdown at 1st and goal.
4) Mentos. Those damn Europeans have the strangest commercials.
5) Paying for sex. Did you know that black hookers are cheaper than white ones in Amsterdam? The blonde hair, blue eyed ones are the most expensive. The things you learn on a 5hr car drive are just astonishing.

Besides these thought provoking topics, we were able to enjoy the art of "cutting people off" and having them give us the finger. Yes, we were obnoxious. But, people drive too slow. Either drive faster or get your ass out of the 1st lane.

In essence, this was our weekend: Beer. 420. Jack. Sleep. Eat. Snowboard/ski. Beer. Jager. Snowboard/ski. Take a spill. Jack. Jacuzzi. Jack. Eat. Jack. Dodgeball the Movie. Jack. Sleep. Johnny Carson dies from emphysema. Shop. Football. Drive back.


A beautiful, sunny day in Mammoth! Posted by Hello

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Loud co-workers

I guess I could close my office door, but I don't want to seem like I'm shutting everyone out. Guess what happens when I keep my door open? I get to listen to this older guy, trying to pitch everyone on why they should work with him.
Picture this: Short, little Caucasian man who looks like he is about 48 yrs old and is obviously trying to start a whole new career. He looks mousy...maybe even a bit like a gopher (minus the fur). He is mostly bald, but what little hair he has left is trimmed very short. He wears glasses and his face has the blotchy look of a man who had not taken very good care of his skin when he was younger. Add to that, a strong New Jersey accent and you have your man. He has the energy of a sprightly 21 yr old which is eerie in someone his age.
He is pacing around his cubicle, yammering away at someone on the phone. He is talking about how he is in the top 3rd of his "training class". I would certainly hope so, since he is up against recent college grads who don't really know any better.
It's not even what he's talking about that bothers me. I think it is his strong Jersey accent. He sounds like he should be on the Sopranos, not working as a stockbroker. If anything, he sounds like he should be in insurance sales. Why do I listen to this? Why should I have to close my office door? Why can't he talk like a normal person?

Monday, January 17, 2005

Snow, sand, and surf

There is nothing more wonderful than living in Southern California! Where else can you snowboard and walk on the beach in shorts and a tee, all in one day? Upon checking the weather conditions, Joy and I packed up our snow gear and headed to the mountains. After a painless 1hr 15 min drive, we were pulling into the parking lot at Mt. High.
Apparently, parking at Mt. High is just as difficult as parking in L.A.! The two parking lots were both full so we were directed to keep going. Where do we park? I wondered, as the police officer kept motioning for us to keep moving. After driving past the 2nd parking lot, I realized that we were never going to find parking. That's when a brilliant idea popped up in my head (I know, you're thinking "uh-oh"). There was an area of the lot where a security guard had been standing in front of one of those crowd control barricades. You know, the type that people have to stay behind at red carpet events and stuff. As we were driving back, he was no longer there and I realized that my car was small enough to squeeze in between the barricade and the wall of snow. I was feeling like quite the delinquent as I edged my car up against another car that was parked there legally. That's when some teenagers, whose cars we were parked in front of, came up to us and commented on how "trippy" it was that we were able to park there. We felt rather young as we put these teenagers in awe of our ability to break the rules of Mt. High. :)
After a solid 4hrs of boarding, we drove back to the beach where we were greeted with 80 degree temperatures. We enjoyed the rest of the day watching the surf, walking in the sand, and eating Wahoo's, home of the world's best fish tacos. Quite the idyllic day, don't you think?

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Midget sightings!

If you are the sensitive type, you probably will not want to continue reading. But, if you say "screw political correctness", then you have come to the right place.
We had a special treat at Patrick Molloy's this afternoon after watching the Patriots put poor Peyton Manning to shame. As we were chowing down on some healthy, fried calamari and fried fish tacos, a couple of girls walked in. Lo and behold, one was a midget!
Midgets are cool. You can play really fun games with them like midget tossing. They have an unusual proportion and they have "small hands...smell like cabbage", as the great Austin Powers would say. This particular speciman that we encountered at Molloy's was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater. She had long, dark hair that came down to her butt. I guess on a normal size person, it would probably be shoulder-length.
Then, to our delight, we saw another one! He didn't have totally odd proportions, but you could definitely tell he was a midget. Of course, he was Asian so maybe he wasn't really a midget.
The fact that we saw two midgets in one night, at the same bar, was just totally exciting! Who would have ever thought that going to a local bar would be so exciting??

Saturday, January 15, 2005

The great game of golf

Michelle Wie had a frustrating day yesterday at the Waialae Country Club in beautiful Hawaii. Of course, whenever I'm on the golf course, it's a frustrating day...EVERY time I play golf. It was a beautiful day yesterday - about 72 degrees with a slight offshore breeze. Okay, honestly, I don't really know what an offshore wind is, but it sounded good, didn't it? :)
We went to The Lakes in El Segundo, an executive course that I must say is rather nice and convenient. There was an older 4-some in front of us. An elderly couple and two older dudes. Now, I don't have anything against the blue-haired folks who make up a disproportionate part of the population...but, they are SLOW. Very slow.
Is it just me or are a lot of golf terms really sexual in nature? For example, "put into the hole." "Give it a good stroke." "I'm going to use my wood to sink the ball into that hole." "Would you like to join our 3-some? We could use a 4th." "Why don't you choke down on that wood a bit more?" Have you ever thought about this or is it just me?
Well, here are some golf pointers for you amateurs out there:
1) When someone is teeing off before you, start making as much noise as possible. Make bird calls. Hoot and holler. The person teeing off will really appreciate you for all your noise making efforts.
2) Now, when you come up to a hole, you are probably wondering "Which club do I use?" Here is a simple plan for you. Anything 100 yards or less, you want to use the driver which may also be marked by a "1". Think 100 = 1. Pretty simple, right? Anything 250 yards or more, you want to use the pitching wedge, which you can pick out by the "P" on it. Basically, the higher the yards are in that hole, use a higher number iron.
3) When the beer bitch comes around with her cart full of alcoholic beverages, be sure to give her a nice slap on the ass. She will find that really appealing and may even give you her number! Don't bother giving her a cash tip.
4) Establish a policy that if you hit a person on the head who is in a group ahead of you, you automatically get 10 points taken off your final score. If you hit someone who is 2 groups in front, you get 20 points taken off your final score.
5) When your ball falls into the lake, dive into the water, a la Happy Gilmore. Those Titleist balls were not free.
6) Before each new hole, have each person in your 4-some do a tequila shot.
7) If you have a golf cart, make sure that you drive it off course. They don't have those big wheels for nothing! Go off-roading! Get on the fairway. Get on the green. Make sure your cart is fully stocked with alcohol though - that's why they have those beer holders. Some people may call them beverage holders, but we all know its real purpose.

Well, that's about all the golf tips I have for you folks. Hope it was helpful and if you need expert advice on anything, you know that Bruingirl knows all. Peace out.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Ex-boyfriends that suck

Don't you just hate it when you break up with someone and you think you're completely over them and then, all of a sudden, you relapse? It's been one of those mornings. No rhyme or reason for it. Just a sudden, illogical desire to get back together with the ex.
Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. Seriously, why in the world would anyone want to be with someone who was verbally abusive and borderline physically abusive? I think I'm becoming one of "those girls"...you know the type. She gets beat by her boyfriend and yet, she thinks that he has redeeming qualities so she goes back to him over and over again....at least until he kills her. Not that my ex would ever kill me or really hurt me physically because I could probably beat him up. Most people could beat him up. Maybe that's why he's such an angry person. I think he has the Napoleon complex. I know he has the Napoleon complex.
C'est la vie, as they say. I'm obviously too distracted to work right now plus it's a beautiful day. I'm going to play golf. Then, I can take out my emotional frustration at the ball. "Son of a bitch ball! Why didn't you just go home?? Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME!!!"

Thursday, January 13, 2005

The Perfect Salmon Recipe

First of all, I would like to give mad props to Astera for giving me this recipe. It is probably the easiest thing you could possibly do to a salmon filet besides throwing it on a grill and squeezing lemon juice on it. It is a recipe that has gotten rave reviews from all my friends! I know you want to know the secret to this extremely simple marinade....Okay, here it is:
2 parts maple syrup and 1 part soy sauce. Marinate the salmon in this concoction for at least 1 hour. Rub the salmon with cracked black pepper and place the filets, skin side down, on lightly greased cookie sheet. Place in oven at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes or until the fish flakes easily. Serve with whole wheat couscous, steamed broccoli, and wine....lots of wine. :)
This meal has been Bruingirl approved and you can consume it without any sort of a guilty conscience, that is, unless you're on the Atkins diet. Then, you would have to do without the couscous....or the broccoli....or the wine. That's no fun. If you were on the Atkins diet, I would have to whack you upside the head and wonder where I went wrong in picking my friends....ha! I knew a girl once who was on it. I saw her 6 months later and she had grown another 30% bigger. Yet, she was wearing a skirt....a short skirt. Why do girls do this? It's always the girls who shouldn't be wearing certain outfits that do that sort of thing. Do we really want to see the cottage cheese oozing out between the extremely short skirt and the knee high boots? Hell no!! Do guys really appreciate that? I would certainly hope not...then again....we ARE talking about the male species.... ;-)

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Jude...not Joe, not Josh, but Jude

One of my favorite musicians is a small, local guy named Jude. That's it. Not Jude Smith or Jude Jones or anything like that. Just Jude. Okay, he really does have a last name, but it's really of no significance. For those of you unfamiliar with Jude, he's like a bluegrassy Ben Folds type of music with really funny lyrics. I hope that makes sense; otherwise, feel free to check out his music on his website.
He plays at small, cool venues like Club Largo. Yep! I'm cooler than you because I know where this club is and you don't. The place has been around for awhile and is probably one of my favorite venues for small, local bands/musicians. The place only holds about 40-50 people and you can make reservations for dinner, just before the show starts. It makes for a great evening out!
As much as I love going out in Hollywood, the parking situation is just ridiculous! Is it just me or has it gotten progressively worse over the years? Actually, I know it's gotten worse. Now you need a green permit to park on one street and then a yellow permit to park on another street. Of course, if you have green 13, that's not going to fly with green 14...which is what you need to park on the other side of the street.
Also, for whatever reason, some of these places don't have valet! Who would have thought there would be a place in Hollywood that is valet-less?? Even my gym has valet! Okay, maybe not anymore, but we used to have valet service at my gym.
Enough ranting....the key point which I seem to have missed here is this: Jude is awesome. Check him out sometime. Club Largo is a great venue. Check out their schedule and just go see someone live. Great venue + great music = fun night!

The iPod mini is taking over the world!

As a "typical" Gen-Xer, I love my gadgets. I love my computer, my digital camera, my PDA, my cell phone, and anything else that may emit radioactive waves. Nothing quite like having an attachment to something that may give me cancer in about 30 years...
To add to my collection of gadgets, I was recently given an iPod mini for Christmas. Why an iPod mini as opposed to a regular iPod? Who REALLY needs 15Gigs of memory?!?!? I mean, really....isn't 4Gigs enough? The battery doesn't even last long enough for you to listen to the entire 4Gigs at once anyway!
Let me just say that the iPod mini is THE greatest invention EVER! I love my iPod mini. It's blue and it plays all my favorite songs like "Island in the Sun" by Weezer. I got an arm band for it so that I can take it to the gym. It looks really great on my arm as I'm running on the treadmill. I like to show it off to all my friends so they can "oohhh" and "ahhh" over it. I can't wait to take it on an extended vacation and show the little guy something else besides Manhattan Beach.
Last night, my roommates and I came to the realization that we all have iPods now! I think Nathan felt left out because he has a monstrous iPod whereas Chris and I have the sleeker and lighter iPod minis. Nathan was experiencing iPod mini envy. Either way, we all thought we were so cool for having these cool gadgets. I wonder what that says about this household??

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Why did the Chargers lose?

What happened out there on Sat. evening at Qualcomm stadium? Does anyone know??? I thought for sure that the Chargers would beat the Jets on Sat. Apparently, I was wrong. Very wrong.
I went to my friend, Ryan's, house to watch the game with some of the boys. He gave me a Sam Adams Light to wash down the chips and salsa. It's funny how everyone drinks "light" beers now. Remember when the only "light" options were Natural Light, Keystone Light, Miller Light, Coors Light, and Bud Light? Now, EVERYONE and their mom has a light version of their beer. I don't think it's helping the American obesity problem though...I guess drinking the light beer doesn't help when you are still eating buffalo wings that have been fried in God knows what. Mmmm....buffalo wings.....
Back to Ryan's house. Graham showed up with a Flutie jersey. I don't think that helped the Chargers play any better of a game. Why did we have to lose that game? Why did Kaeding miss that field goal? I could have kicked that field goal!!! All my teams suck. The UCLA Bruins and the SD Chargers. I'm giving up on football.....okay, just until the next season comes along. Then, I'll just be emotionally drained all over again.
It was a good thing that Ryan started making mixed drinks for me. I don't think I would have handled the loss as well as I did if I was completely sober. Those apple martinis made me feel warm and fuzzy though.
Another thing, talk about a complete blowout with the Colts game today! Wow....AFC West just didn't represent very well, did we? Also, what was going on with Brett Favre? All those interceptions! Might as well just hand over your balls to the Vikings at that point!!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

New Year's resolutions? What resolutions?

Many people make resolutions this time of the year. I am making resolutions as well:
1) I will drink more beer. I want to have a bigger beer gut. Hey, at least I'm striving for something which is more than I can say for some of you out there.
2) I will turn my swearing up a notch. Swearing like a sailor with a beer gut is the sexiest thing on a gal.
3) I will sit on my ass in front of the TV every night watching reality shows and painfully tasteless sitcoms. Of course, this will be done while drinking a beer and screaming obscenities at the TV.
4) I will discontinue my gym membership at Spectrum which will save me hundreds of dollars so I am being fiscally responsible. It will also give me more time to sit in front of the TV, drink beer, and scream obscenities.
5) I will be the most self-serving person that I know. I am going to do what I want to do without taking into consideration how it may affect others. If I want that candy from the baby, I'm going to do it! Then, I can eat that candy, while watching TV, drinking beer, and swearing.
6) I will be a lazy bum at work and surf the Internet even more on my company time. I am going to work even less hours so that I can prove how ineffective of an employee I am!
7) I will start doing drugs of every kind! It doesn't matter what it is - illegal, prescription, or over the counter. Although, I must say that I am really striving to become a crack addict.
8) I will start smoking so that I can get lung cancer and emphysema. I want to have that sexy, low smoker's voice too. Hey, that voice will go great with the beer gut, the crack addiction, the swearing, and the flabby body that I'm hoping to achieve this year.
9) I will be so pathetic that I won't even come up with the complete top 10 resolutions for myself in 2005!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Happy New Year!!!

It is now 2005. Weren't we supposed to have flying cars by now? Mine doesn't fly. It barely moves past the posted speed limits of residential areas. There's so much to look back upon in 2004. Some great ones and some not so great.
4th Season of Six Feet Under was great. The Simple Life....not so much.
The Incredibles were incredible. Open Water was far from being incredible.
Modest Mouse was a refreshing new addition. Ashlee Simpson left something to be desired.
Political cartoons were clever. Political debates rehashed the same issues over and over again.
Climbing to the top of Mt. Whitney was exhilarating. Being in Arizona in July was miserable.
Being in love was exciting. Falling out of love was depressing.

It was a year when I got an invitation to my 10yr high school reunion. I thought that was something that OLD people did, not someone young like me! Going forward, my 10yr high school reunion will be a thing of the past. Now that is a scary thought.
All I know is that this past year has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I was just getting used to 2004 and now I have to learn a whole new year!